May 27, 2018

Chapter 2 : The Unknown

One more from the brain.
I have no idea why I am in here but I do know there is a pattern when I am in here.
My mind is lonely and my heart itches to pour out it's contents.

______________________


"We should go out someday" "What?" "You heard me, we should go out."

A random speech. An invitation to go out together with no one else but us. Just us. Both of us. With no one else to distract us. A sudden thought. A sudden fear. "Sure, we should."

"Let's do tomorrow. We can go somewhere fancy."

A chuckle. Fancy is not a word to describe her. She is far too much a hobbit with her t-shirt and jeans. Sneakers and slippers are her best friends.

"I don't do fancy but we can go get some good food."

Food works good too. Fancy place scares him. There would be too many people and too many noises to take away her voice.

"Yes, let me bring you somewhere for some good food. It would be so good that you would beg for more." He joked.

____________________

There is so many things that a person wants. Luxury, wealth, health, love and so much more but how many people actually wants something that he or she already has? Can someone's love really grow day by day? Can someone continue to be committed even with days passed by? Can someone stay strong in a relationship when all has become a routine?

Those are questions, asked by a young girl once. There are so many questions in her little mind but no one to give her a answer that satisfy her curious soul. Growing with that questions build a lady who questions everyone's good intention. Every single kindness needs to be repay. Every single action needs to have a equal reaction. How could she accept someone who continues to give and not accept anything from her? How can she learn to take and not to give?

The questions changes day by day. From trust issues, she starts to hallucinate situations where she needs to give up everything to be someone that he wants. Someone that he can proudly share to the world. Someone who differs from her.

There are so many questions in mind. She is afraid of who she would turn to be in the future. She is afraid of the...

Unknown.

_____________________


Ahh - I am stuck on the male character. What does a guy feels when he falls in love? What does a guy thinks? I have no clue given that my friends who fall head over heels are usually the female character.

If you readers out there have any clue, please share some thoughts with me.

xoxo,
eunicegm


Mar 31, 2018

Chapter 1 : The Introduction

I have a story to share. I am not sure if this story would be read by anyone but I would like to start record this story since it's unfolding in my head every awake moment that I have.


It was a warm, sunny day. Dogs and their parents are running around the park. It was all a beautiful, slow rhythm. A group of older women were practicing tai chi and a group of older men were sitting down, talking about their sons and daughter-in-laws. Some were allowing their grandchildren to run around the park without supervision. It was a safe neighborhood. Dogs, children, women and men mingle around with harmony.

She hurried along in that quiet environment. There was no time to pause and say good morning to anyone. It was all in an hurry. She was late. There was no way she could be late on her first few weeks of work. She has to proved to her boss that she is able to be responsible for her adult life. How could she even think of faking a MC just so to avoid being call irresponsible?

Reaching the office, no one even figured that she was late. In fact, it was only 15 minutes late, her mentor said. "Don't worry. Some people come in even later than you" She smiled. Deep down, she knew she had failed something on that day. Although that is normal but deep inside, she knew that was unacceptable behavior. "By the way, we would be expecting some new team members today." He winked. "New fish in here"

___________

A brand new day. A brand new start in a new place. A good idea to put everything behind and move forward with a new things. A past that no one has to know. A future that is uncertainty but definitely new. That was all on the mind of the main character of this story. He has got home after a long time. It is now time to be somewhere close to ground and try out something new. The morning has been a harsh one, with induction taking their sweet time with everyone else. It is good in someway that he do not need to be rush but he yearn to be able to meet new people and learn anything new that can be possible to learn.

A talk in the room. A friendly gesture by team members. A look. A stare. Someone new.

__________

There's the new kid in town. Friendly gesture. A look. Back to work. She failed something, remember?


It's past my bed time. I guess here is where I would close chapter 1.

xoxo,
eunicegm


Mar 27, 2018

Is this how it feels being a Millennial?

Hello friends of the virtual world,

Do you know that one of the characteristics of a Millennial is someone who is not afraid to share their lives on social media? Do you know that we are the generation that believes in technology more than human beings? Do you know that Millennial loves the camera and anything that draws attention to themselves?

Well, I am 26 this year - been in the blogging world since high school but it was an on and off relationship. I can't imagine that I am back here after months of going silence but the most comfortable place that allows me to express my emotions at this moment would be this platform, I guess.

Anyway, the topic for today would be ranting about being a Millennial in today's world with all types of generation of people that you have to work with. My career had started pretty smooth I would say. I am lucky and thankful to be accepted to one of the top Oil and Gas company which allows me to have a good name to relay on. I did not had to worry much about finance and I can say that I am in a safe position. I remembered the day when I received the email stating that I would be doing my internship with this company - I was thrilled that I ran up and down the stairs, screaming and laughing.

The first big move away from my comfort zone, it was tough and lonely but being a fresh grad, all that I could think off was the job, friends that I would make, things that I could learn and opportunities that will come by. It was definitely exciting.

Fast forward, 17 months into the job, learned tons of new things, gotten new friends that inspires me, entrusted with different opportunities, received different applause and rewards and here I am - asking myself - what am I doing with my life?


I had The Talk with family, friends and even *sometimes* strangers.

"Should I resign? Should I start my own business? Should I do something exciting? Should I go out more often?"

So many questions that requires my attention that this lovely, bubbly, always excited for a brand new day is slowly giving up on the things that she loved. *I teared up at this moment*

I stopped going out on weekends. I stopped cooking fresh food. I stopped going to the gym. I stopped making appointments with friends. I wake up, stared onto the ceiling, played my phone a little *Read Youtube - The Simpsons*, head into work, and go home super late at night.

There is no productivity nor creativity in my everyday lives. I feel the emotions to throw everything and head out to the big, wide world - but, where can I go?

I decided to write this post because my Uber driver discussed this with me this morning. He is currently serving his Bar and his words

"I don't want to be a fucking lawyer". 

My heart swam with gladness cause at that moment, I was screaming "You are not alone, my brother!" Instead of screaming, I politely said "Yeah, our generation tend to go through this phase in life."

And.. I left.


So, tell me fellow virtual friends - is this what it feels like being a Millennial? Do we tend to give up after a few months of working in the adult world? Do we feel like robots going on our usual routine?

Do leave me some comments or opinions if you would like to share.

xoxo,
Eunice GM




Jul 6, 2017

Wake Up Alone

Wednesday | 5th July |

Thoughts had been running around my mind. I don't expect anything but why do my thoughts kept running away to hide? It's so messy in here with the reality world calling out for me to answer my responsibilities. The realistic world had turn into a scary place where people judge you for every single little thing that you do. People laugh at things that you don't find funny. People do normal stuff that you find it weird. The world has turn against you, waiting for you to give up so that someone else could take your place.

You.

I don't understand your actions, your thoughts, and the whole of you. I want to be there for you - nothing else. Just someone that you know that you can count on. However hard I tried, it seems that I had been pushed away. Or perhaps you too had turn to be like the world, judging and laughing at things that doesn't make sense. When would you realize that I am silently standing by since the beginning?

He.

What is he trying to do? Why is he doing things like this? Why can't he be like any normal person? At least with him being a little more of the world, I know how to deal with him. He is not like them. He have his own way of thinking and taking charge of the scary world. He have the confidence that they would change if he continue to be the way that he is. He does not know that things does not work that way in the real world. Things are harsh in the real world. People take every single opportunity that they can find to find the softer part of you.

She.

Aren't she going to give up soon? Aren't she clinging on a little too much? Aren't it a little too late now for everything to be smooth once again?

Me.

Making myself busy. Making myself to follow rules that I set for myself. Turning myself into someone that I am not so sure about. Am I happy? Or am I pretending to be happy? Am I deceiving myself? What am I doing?


Questions. Questions. Ques-

-tions.

I am waking up alone again tomorrow. Thoughts running around, waiting for me to open up my eyes to torment me once again.

xoxo,
Eunice GM

Jun 29, 2017

Travel - Bangkok & Koh Phagan

Hola Amigos!

I am currently sitting down on my dining table trying to customize myself to the noise of my fingers tapping away on the keyboard. Ouh, and please do not forget that my legs are way up high (I'll explain why soon).

Last year July, after working for a month as a full time employee, I decided to start on my dream as a human being - to travel. Besides, I have a wish to travel solo to Thailand and mainly because I am a party goer, I felt the pull to head to Koh Phagan - well known for the Full Moon Party.

Plane ticket. Check. Booking. Check. Bags packed. Obviously no as I am a last minute person.

19 Dec 2016

I booked an evening flight cause it was cheaper and being as budget as I was, I chooses the cheapest without considering the fact that I just lost one whole day on traveling. By the time I got to The land of Buddha, it was late and all I want to do is to hang out at the Hostel.

It was my first time traveling solo and choosing Thailand was a good choice as it was not really a huge culture shock for me. Food wise, it was amazing but I am sure all Malaysians are used to the taste buds of spiciness. However, the only disadvantage that I had as an Asian in Thailand was the language barrier. I had a few misunderstandings but nothing that would make me NOT go back there.

20 Dec 2016

I head out early the morning and I was lucky that I met a lady from Netherlands who actually guided me a little as Thailand is sort of her little playground by the time I met her. We went on a boat ride from the end to the other end for less than 20 batt if not mistaken. *Please do not get trick into the tourist boat. It is much pricey*

After a good brunch, we both head off on our own and I went to the Grand Palace. The price that I paid was 500 batt which is kinda pricey but c'mon, how many times do you get to come here right?
The place is huge! I got lost and looking back at my footage that I had, I don't really know where which place was I in cause everything looks almost similar.

That day itself, I head over to two other temples. The Sleeping Buddha and The Dawn Temple. However, when I reached the Dawn Temple, I was exhausted and did not have much mood to keep going for long. Therefore, nothing much was done there.

That same afternoon, I went over to Samping Market. Now, everyone who wants a good wholesale price, you NEED to come here! There are not many tourists around here but there are tons of people that are doing their regular shopping. You are able to find tons of stuff here but as it is a ground for wholesales, the more you buy the more cheaper you get. Guess what I saw here? Chockers - 1 for 10 batt. Gurl, I am telling you that if you buy that in Malaysia, it would bring you to RM12 at least but here? RM1.20. DAYUM!

There are cons though. You need to buy minimum of 6 so, it's around 60 batt? Being a cheap skate and I did not have the intention of doing any shopping, I told myself "No Eu. You don't need that." But.. I do have some regrets in my heart now.

Once I was done seeing how the locals buy their stuff, I head over to the tourist area, Koh San Road. Here was where I got my first ever scorpion down my throat. That was not really as nice as I expect it to be but it was a good experience. I should have tried the worms though. I heard that those are good stuff. Plus, those are protein don't it?

21 Dec 2016

As Bangkok is a huge place, I divided the city into two different places that I would spend time on. The first day was on the river side so all that I did was to walk or to travel by boat. However, on the second day, I head over to the BTS where I bought a one day ticket for 120 batt and I can travel as much as I want with the BTS. It was kinda slow and relaxing day as my plans to visit certain places was ruin by the comments of the locals. I did however, got my first ever blister (If that is a good thing).

TIP: Always have plasters ready in your purse

Ouh, I overnight at the airport and boy - it was something new for me. I had to keep an eye open and make sure that my bags are still around me and  thank God that there was internet in that beautiful airport that was my home for the night.

22 Dec 2016

It was the day where my journey begin to the Party Island. I left for the island with my bags packed and ready to head out to my so-called adventure. I took a plane (Air Nok - they are awesome), a one hour van ride and a ferry (2 hours urgh). Once I step down the ferry, motors were waiting to carry you to your destination and although the Island is not that small or big, it needs someone to bring you to the hostel with those heavy bags around you.

Slumber Party Hostel.

The best place ever that I had stayed for now. The people were awesome, there was pre-parties all night and you don't have to worry on being lonely. There are tons of people to know, tons of people to talk to, and tons of stories to listen to. Of course when there is party, there are drinks involved which of course makes everyone seems fun. Lol.

The day that I arrived, I spend it on sleeping on a proper bed and heading to the Half Moon Party in the night. The price of that awesome night? 1000 batt. It was freaking pricey for a party but listen to this. The party was in the middle of the jungle. We bought our pass and got on a ride which took us to God Knows Where. Met a few dudes and girls but not much to keep in touch with. Everyone was either intoxicated or high on something.

23 Dec 2016

The night before was the last night that I remained a good girl cause once the clock strikes 6pm, I was off for drinking here and there. It was a wonder that my stomach could hold in all those alcohol for those few days.

I did visited a waterfall and a bar called High on High where the view is indeed a view to die for. Of course when you are in Koh Phagan, there is a must to get the famous Koh Phagan scar. Well, one thing that you will noticed when you enter this island is that there are tons of people who are on bike, some with licience and some without those little cards which allows you to ride. Of course with situation like that, tons of people tend to fall and get scars which are known as the famous Koh Phagan scar.

That night, party was at a beach and boy - love it to bits. I met pretty cool people who lovingly jump through blazing fire jumping rope.

24 Dec 2016

Ouh boy. I hate this date. It was the day where I had a great Christmas party dinner with a bunch of new people around me but at the same time, it was the night that I sprained both of my ankles. Yup - both of it. Not one but both. It was alcohol, food, muai thai, jumping rope on fire, face drawing, crazy dancing and all kind of stuff were going on. I can't remember the exact reason on falling but I remember someone picked me up, and someone else make sure I was tucked into bed safe and sound.

Truth to be told, it wasn't much fun from this time onwards. All that I want to do is go back home and rest those feet of mine.

25 Dec 2016

First Christmas away from the family. Blessed Christmas! I was debating with myself if I should join for the last night of party cause that was the major party of the Island - Full Moon Party 2017. I don't remember if the moon was bright or round but I did remember falling in love. I fell in love with someone eyes. I fell in love with the sky shining bright on us. I fell in love with everything at that moment. Yes, I hate the pain throbbing through my feet (Alcohol and pain killer helps a lot) but the fun that I had that night was a little unexpected and different.

26 Dec 2016

I got myself a tattoo. =)

27 Dec 2016

There is nothing much better than being home.


In conclusion, Thailand had been a great and awesome solo trip for me. Although I fuck it up with those feet of mine but the people that I met, the food that I had, the fun that I had - it was all worth it. =)

Signing out.


xoxo,
Eunice GM