Jan 8, 2015

Roller Coaster of Emotions

Dear all, have you even been on a roller coaster ride where you just wish to get down as soon as possible? The sick feelings is hitting you hard in the stomach and all that you want to do is to stop the people in charge and just ask them to fecking stop the ride? Given that I am a lover of adrenaline, I am okay with roller coaster la but I do hate rides that kept spinning around. Spinning in a cup? Euuw. No thanks. Spinning away in the air? Err, no thanks. Spinning makes me dizzy and I hate it.

Right now though, I'm facing a roller coaster of emotions. I do want to get down from this ride but I do not have the controls to do so. All that I can do is to ride this ride and wait for it to stop on its own. I do hope that I can stay on long though. One night itself and I had been hit with all kinds of emotions. Sad, fear, happy, touching, love, hopeful, all these and much more that I could not keep a finger on it had been bugging me since just now.

I hate gaining sympathy but right now, I just want to crawl up in a safe place where no one else knows me and bawls out my tears. I hate crying but when the need to cry hits me, down my tears will fall like the Nigeria Falls. I wish that I can be whisk away to a new place where it would be lovely if there is the sound of waves, nothing else except nature and a good book to keep me company on my hammock.

That is one problem that I realized that I have. When problems hit me, I tend to run away to hide from it. I had been doing this habit of mine since I was younger so I guess it tends to stick with me? Even in argument, if I think that I don't wish to continue, I will just walk away. I don't think this is the right way eh to solve conflicts?

Oh God. I don't think all these are tough in practical but it is tough when I have to make decisions. It is tough when I need to do decisions which I hate to do. Each options that is infront of me is not a good decision I think cause I think that both sides are important to me.

Ohmy. I just hope that this roller coaster that I am in will slow down a little. Besides, I had been through tougher times right? Sooo, this should be ok?

eunice gm.

P/S: This post is typed with a delirious mind and I don't even know what are the main point in this post. Congratulations. I guess you had just wasted a few minutes of your life. I'm sorry.

Jan 3, 2015

Starting of 2015

First of all, let me wish you guys a very Blessed New Year 2015! It may be a little late but never let rules hold you down, right mate? *wink*

How did you past your NYE? Mine was a little boring but I did met up with some friends from my childhood time and shared little words. I planned to celebrated it with friends this last year but then they all ditched me so I decided to spend it with my family, which only consists of mom. The two men had their own company this last year.

Anyway, something to share that might bring a little humor and excitement in my boring life.


On 01.01.2015, I drove this humble car of mine for branch and before I could know what is going on, the car infront of me made a emergency brake and many had said that I was too close but I still stand firm on my stand that maybe it's because of Malaysia's car brake? Ahah. It was all too chaos and all I know is this. Thank God though that no one got hurt so everyone was doing okay. Guess what happen to the car who I kissed. His was in perfect condition but not flawless la. He got a few scratches but his car bonnet can still be open. Ah well, unlucky me I guess? This is the result of a Toyota vs. a Malaysia car. =______=

Ditch that story aside. What are your plans for 2015? Let me discuss a few in here.

Frankly speaking, I am in lack of so many stuff from above. This old brain of mine have to start moving don't they? This year, instead of just focusing on my outside, I wanna focus on my inner side too. I wanna learn to compliment people more. Yeah, I have trouble in that. I don't know why. Lol.

I also wanna learn to be a little more caring. I know I do care but I lack the showing of it and I hate it at times cause when I am fighting with my inner thoughts, someone else had done that a long time ago. I don't know if this can be change but well, at least it is a new time to try right?

#runawaykid in Kuala Lumpur for a short vacay. =D

Ouh! This year, I wanna travel more. #runawaykid is coming back soon I guess. I just wanna run and run and run! Weee~

With all that, there is also final year project for me. Oh man. Thinking about it just gives me the creep but I am fire up for that cause I know that by doing FYP means that I am closer to my goal. I hope this goal of mine is the same as God's plans la but I really do hope things will go well from here. 2012 had been shit. 2013 had been a growing phase. 2014 had been a year to count my blessings and to appreciate all the things that I had missed so in this year, 2015, I do hope to see great things happening in my life. I wanna push myself into a limit that I never will expect to see myself in. I wanna look back at 2015 and say, "Wow. I seriously done all that?" 

So, all the best for all of your resolutions that you will try hard to do for the past few weeks but always remember, change does not happen if you do not do anything about it. 

with love, xoxo,
eunice gm.