Jul 6, 2017

Wake Up Alone

Wednesday | 5th July |

Thoughts had been running around my mind. I don't expect anything but why do my thoughts kept running away to hide? It's so messy in here with the reality world calling out for me to answer my responsibilities. The realistic world had turn into a scary place where people judge you for every single little thing that you do. People laugh at things that you don't find funny. People do normal stuff that you find it weird. The world has turn against you, waiting for you to give up so that someone else could take your place.

You.

I don't understand your actions, your thoughts, and the whole of you. I want to be there for you - nothing else. Just someone that you know that you can count on. However hard I tried, it seems that I had been pushed away. Or perhaps you too had turn to be like the world, judging and laughing at things that doesn't make sense. When would you realize that I am silently standing by since the beginning?

He.

What is he trying to do? Why is he doing things like this? Why can't he be like any normal person? At least with him being a little more of the world, I know how to deal with him. He is not like them. He have his own way of thinking and taking charge of the scary world. He have the confidence that they would change if he continue to be the way that he is. He does not know that things does not work that way in the real world. Things are harsh in the real world. People take every single opportunity that they can find to find the softer part of you.

She.

Aren't she going to give up soon? Aren't she clinging on a little too much? Aren't it a little too late now for everything to be smooth once again?

Me.

Making myself busy. Making myself to follow rules that I set for myself. Turning myself into someone that I am not so sure about. Am I happy? Or am I pretending to be happy? Am I deceiving myself? What am I doing?


Questions. Questions. Ques-

-tions.

I am waking up alone again tomorrow. Thoughts running around, waiting for me to open up my eyes to torment me once again.

xoxo,
Eunice GM

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